The end of the year is often a time when many become reflective over the past year and anticipation builds for the upcoming year. Many a resolutions have been contemplated and made.
I am writing you this week to encourage you to make the time and create the space to become quiet; tap into and really hear what it is that YOU want. I emphasize “you” in case you are very empathetic or sometimes tend to focus on pleasing others. If so, you might have trouble hearing what it is that you want verses what others important to you in your life might want for you. It might be your parents’ or your significant other’s voice that subconsciously influences your own thoughts, but once aware of this tendency, you can help neutralize your other-focus bias.
So stay aware. Create the space and time to take inventory of what it is that YOUR heart truly desires. Take a bath, shower, go for a walk, exercise, or take a journal and write down your recurring goals and desires.
Do you have any aspirations that you really wanted but, for a number of reasons, pushed aside? Maybe you felt the timing wasn’t right earlier. Maybe you didn’t really believe it was attainable, so you decided not to try. Or maybe you, like many loving and supportive souls, decided to postpone your goals and aspirations in order to be supportive of others whom you love.
If you are like most, you may have resigned yourself through a range of narratives that it is either too late to try; that other current considerations are pressing and may get in the way of your pursuing that goal or satisfying that want you have suppressed. Maybe it is easier in the moment to push it off. But if you keep doing it, you’ll never get away from the feeling of an unfulfilled, unsatisfying life. Why flat line life when you don’t have to?
3. Let Go of Worry.
There were two surveys done of elderly residents who were well into the afternoon of their life. They came from different backgrounds financially, socially, and racially, but they had something in common. There were two recurring comments made regarding what they regretted.
What do you think are the two things each survey revealed? One study of 1,200 elderly said that “they wished they hadn’t spent so much time worrying.”
Worry and doubt place cement blockages in the road to happiness. The funny thing about both is that they are connected with fear and are not connected with reality. Why allow the imagined to get in the way of what is possible? Yet, it happens very often; so much so that out of 1,200 respondents, this came up the most.
Any thoughts about another common thing they were remorseful about? They deeply regretted what they never even tried. They shared that didn’t mind if they failed, but they did mind that they didn’t make the effort!
Wow. How well said is that. When you are in your 80s and 90s, you have a lot of time to reflect on your life and less time to accomplish those goals you continuously reasoned should be put off. “Now is not the time. Maybe later.” “I am not sure I can do that, so maybe I won’t try.” “Others need me, and if I do that, I won’t be as available for my family or my loved ones. It will be hard going after that.”
So don’t delay. Tap into your heart’s desires and then take specific steps toward them. Do more of what makes you happy!
I’m reminded of a quote that my daughter shared with me and the sentiment is reflected in the words below:
“At some point in your life, your life will flash before you. Make it worth watching.”
4. Start today.
Don’t delay. Let go of worry and doubt. This gift of life – yours, mine, ours – is limited by time, and we don’t know when it will end. But in the meantime, we do have the power to do the most with this valuable limited asset. After all, remember: you are the captain of your ship. What you do during your journey – which you have control over – will greatly impact the quality of your experience and the experience of those on board.
Let me know not if but when you do those things that you want. I like hearing about and sharing stories.
So, this year, when you are considering your resolutions, stay close to what it is that YOU and your heart wants, let go of fears and doubts, and then take steps to create your vision. Make sure you are not at the end of your life feeling remorseful. Instead, do today those things you have control over. Do those things you want.
If you loved this message and would like to have a handy reminder, check out these mugs here!